A fancy public toilet: don't get caught with your pants down.

There are a some things in life that make me nervous. And public toliets are right up there.

It's not about the germs or general grossness either. That's a whole other issue. The public toilets that make my nerves rattle are those baby change /disabled toilets with automatic shut doors where you press the button once to shut the door and a second time to lock it.

They are a bit fancy.

And its their fancieness that makes me nervous.

You see, the first time I used one of these toilets I was at Melbourne Airport. There was a huge line up for the ladies, so I, being 8 weeks pregnant and running a tad bit late for my flight, granted myself permission to use the fancy toilet.

I ran into the fancy toilet, pressed the button to close the door and dropped my dacks. I am admiring the wall tiles. Daydreaming about my final destination and the flight ahead. M&Ms or peanuts on todays flight I ponder when "whoosh" that fancy door slides itself open.

OMG!

I am on a toilet.

I freeze and don't make a sound. I don't want to draw anymore attention to myself. But the person who has opened the door has her back towards me. She is busy with her mop and bucket. 

She is the cleaner and behind her is flight 109 to Sydney.

She finally looks up and sees me sitting on my porcelain thrown. Mouth wide open. Cheeks bright red. Pants around my ankles. Hands on bits.

"Tsk, tsk." She says and then loudly announces to me and flight 109;

"You need to lock the door. Once to shut. Twice to lock."

Right. I got it lady. 

She bends over and puts her bucket down.

"Canyoujustshutthebloodydoor?" I shout.

I watch as the door comes to a slow close. I close my eyes and try to wish it away. Nope. Still there. Cleaner, people, vending machines, blue carpet, coffee cart, newspaper stand. Airport lights.

Fark.

What just happened? I stare at the button and take note of her advice.

But, nowhere does it say press twice to lock lady cleaner. Argh. I stand up. Pull up my strides and wash my hands. I look at my reflection. I am all shades of red. And I cant delay this any longer. I need to catch my flight. I press the button.

Once to exit. I put my head down and avoid eye contact and make my dash.

I get on my flight and leave the scene. The scene of fancy toilets and opening doors. But you see, this day has stayed with me and these fancy toilets they make me nervous. Even more nerve-wrecking is a toddler fingers hovering over the open door button whilst on seated on the toilet. Today, he teased, "Marrrm, look out. Ill press it". Bless him.

So, whatever you do. Remember, once to shut, twice to lock!

Notice, how the toilet is in front of the door? Cruel.

So, tell me what makes you nervous and what's your most embarrassing story? 

Baby in Vietnam: My {8} travel tips.

Today, I stopped and gazed at the travel agents window a little too long. It was a scenic picture of Ha Long Bay in Vietnam that I was admiring. Flights were cheap, but travel periods restricted. Of course. 

Come on. Jetstar. Just once put a dollar dazzling deal in the school holiday period. 

I dare you.

Do it for the teachers {and more importantly their wives, me!}.

And so back to my window gazing. Vietnam. What a bloody amazing country. If you haven't been, go now. Go now before the tourists destroy its soul and take happy snaps whilst doing it. You know where I am talking about.

We took Noah to Vietnam when he was one. People thought we were crazy and were convinced he might die from dengue fever or cholera.

He didn't. 

In fact he faired the best out of all of us on the runny poos count.

And he like us fell in love with the country.

But, like all things in life there were some lessons learnt and for this reason I am sharing with you my top 8 tips for travelling Vietnam with a baby in tow. 

1. Vietnamese people like babies. They like to touch, pat, kiss, play and hug them. This is something that we learnt to embrace very quickly. As a result, we had many child-free dinners. Noah would be whisked away to the kitchen by the waiter to meet his mother. We would eat. We would drink beer. And then the waiter would return with the happy baby.

2. You can buy nappies (& all other baby related products) from major supermarkets in the major cities. However, I would recommend you take your own sealed formula. Try your best to not let ze formula spill in your bag. It has an uncanny similarity to a certain 'white' illegal substance. And thats not a happy ending in any Asian country.

3. Nothing can or will prepare you for the traffic in Vietnam. It really is quite hectic and operates on the "biggest object has right of way". Therefore, as a pedestrian you have the least right of way, unless you are the size of the local bus. The best way to cross the road is slowly and persistently. The traffic will see you and anticipate your movements... so... keep moving. Running is definitely a no-no, although you may feel that is the only way to do it.

4. Tap water is best avoided. You can buy cheap bottled water from all over Vietnam. Be sure that the seal has not been tampered with and avoid ice. And I am talking about the freezer cold type ice here.

5. Food is pretty easy in Vietnam. Noah loves rice. He will eat it day and night, which was a bonus for us. We also used to fill up his lunchbox in the morning with supplies from the breakfast buffet. The staff used to turn a polite blind eye while they played with the cute baby. See point 1. Oh, and we did take a tube of vegemite too. 

6. Shopping malls exist in both of the the major cities, Hanoi and Hi Chi Minh City. And in these malls you will usually find an indoor playground/amusement park or water puppet theatre. Just look for the flashing lights and screaming kids. It gave the boy a good chance to stretch his legs, meet the locals and make some noise. Just watch out for the crawling baby not wearing a nappy. 

7.  Cots were often available in all the major hotels. Call ahead and ensure its available for your booking. Noone likes a grumpy and tired baby. You may need to bring your own sleeping sack or sheet set. Sleep is serious stuff so nothing funny to add here.

8. And finally, the overnight trains were a great option for us. They were cheap, clean and safe. And for a few extra dollars, you can usually swindle a whole cabin to yourself. The trains rocking motion had our little explorer asleep in no time. Just be sure you don't leave any valuables behind because you will not get them back. Our cabin was promptly cleaned by cabin staff. 

Do you have any tips to share on travelling with a baby to a foreign country?


This is a fabulous family friendly website full of travel trips: www.allabroadbaby.com

Home, sweet, home (or is it?)

My {not-so-little} little sister O returned home yesterday after spending 9 weeks holidaying, sorry excuse me, "studying" in Chiang Mai, Thailand. Lucky bugger.

As we sat listening to her travel adventures of tuk tuks, lost wallets and chicken heads, I got a whiff of withdrawal. No, not that kind of withdrawal {she is only 15}. The other type of withdrawal. That stinky feeling of coming down from your holiday high as you are suddenly catapulted back into the mundane reality of everyday life.

I still remember my first time coming home after travelling. I had major culture shock. Readjusting to life back home was darn right challenging. And there's not a whole lot of sympathy out there for those facing it.

I remember the supermarkets feeling enormous and the cereal options seeming endless. The streets felt deserted, like a movie set waiting for action. And the roadside curbs and footpaths appeared finished. In fact, everything felt finished. The roads, the buildings, the parks, the power lines. How utterly boring.

I was surprised that I could walk down the street and not spot a single soul. Why was noone trying to sell me a hammock? And where was my fearless {and toothless} street vendor who chopped my daily serve of watermelon like a ninja-samurai. Where could I find her in Melbourne? I needed chopped watermelon. I needed these things and so much more.

Anyone who has travelled will recognise these feelings as the post travel blues, reverse culture shock or as I like to call it the post travel hangover. And like any hangover, it sucks. Immensely.

And the cure... Well, like any good hangover there is no magic cure, instead it takes time. Time to acclimatise to the everyday things. 

And so my advice to O {and anyone else suffering a post travel hangover} is to take your time as you let yourself get back into the swing of things. You are not the same person as you were before your travels, so don't expect to be able to jump back into your old life. You've grown in your thinking and will look at things with a new eye, a wiser more worldly eye. 

Breathe in the fresh air and celebrate just how lucky you are to have gained these experiences. Walk the supermarket aisles and buy every packet of cereal if you must. And, finally if that doesn't work... just start planning your next trip. That's sure to make you smile.

What's your post travel hangover remedy? Are you suffering one right now? Share it with us in the comments. 

Love Jo x