Thursday, October 10, 2013

Face your fear: my fear of needles.

Yesterday, I took myself off to my local doctor for a routine health check. I like my doctor. Hanan Alal is her name and she is a goodn'. I trust her implicitly and we often get lost in a good conversation. 

But, yesterday she made me question our relationship when she suggested I take a dreaded blood test:

"Just here, now. Ill do it quick. No problem." 

I hate the things so naturally, I backed into the corner (no, really I did) and pleaded with her that we do it next week.

Those pleas fell onto deaf ears. I was jabbed. And I didn't like it. Everyone has a friend or family member that is terrified of needles. And thats me. Yup, here I am. Loud and proud. Terrified of needles.

The thought of rolling up your sleeve, them tapping on your arm while tightening the band, the actual needle inside your body, the horrible clicking of the tubes and then the cotton wool at the end to catch the overflow. 

Oh, god. It's all too much. 

It has always been an issue. Always. As a child, as a teen, as an adult and as a mum. And let's just say that being pregnant is no fun for a needle phobic. 

Pregnancy is the ultimate stab fest. 

Some people are considerate and kind when it comes to accommodating those with needle issues. Some offer for you to take the test lying down, others go a little slower, offer you water or hide the needles. But the best ones, offer you Angelcream. Yes, numbing cream. 

I discovered Angelcream last year when I was pregnant with Jude. 6 weeks pregnant and feeling pretty pregnancy horrible I knew the routine antenatal checks were looming. As I sat staring at the dreaded pathology slip, pondering what lie ahead, I spotted a collection site at the childrens hospital. A place for kids to have needles. That sounds like me. 

Pathetic, right? 

But in my head, I figured those who do needles on kids would need to be kind, considerate and well... tolerant of crying. And that they were. I discovered the numbing cream there. I had my needle and left with a Disney bandaid. They had run out of lollipops. It was the most pleasant needle experience to date. But, it certainly didn't make up for the other 40, or so unpleasant needle experiences.

I wish I didn't have this fear. I wish I could "toughen up Princess" {yes, this has been said to me amidst needle tears}. But its not a simple case of toughening up according to Dr. James G. Hamilton. You can read his thoughts on evolution and needle fears here.

So, that's me. I am afraid of needles. They make me squirm. They make me shake. And feel horrible inside. But, yesterday, Hanan Alal, she got her blood. As it slowly dripped from my arm, it threatened to stop. But Hanan said that's   enough and we were done. 

Click. Another needle down. 

Do you have a needle fear? Or any other fears for that matter? 

Love Jo xxx