Wednesday, August 7, 2013

My house, the Chinese Wash House

My husband has what I like to call Sporadic Wash Syndrome or SWS. 

This post I dedicate to him and to all other individuals diagnosed with SWS. 


SWS is a condition, which largely affects males. It involves males not being able to place their clothing in a laundry basket rather opting to place items {dirty, clean and in between} on the floor, often next to a bed or on a bathroom floor. SWS leads to a build up of dirty clothes, often resulting in a decrease of clothing in ones drawers and cupboards. Clothing often develops an offensive odor. This odor triggers a sporadic chemical response in the individual that results in the individual insisting on pushing through 5-6 loads of washing in the quickest time possible; rain, hail or shine. If raining, you can guarantee the individual will hang these items {his whole wardrobe} throughout the house. He may boast at his wash speed and efficiency, not realising that he has only completed 2/5 of the laundry process. Left undiagnosed, SWS may be lethal.


- Large dirty clothes piles
- Sporadic cycles of washing


Sadly, there is no treatment for SWS. Males will be males after all. And it's no fun being the nagging wife.

Are you at risk of SWS?

If you answer yes to any of the questions below then please seek medical advice;

Are you male?

Do you wear clothes?


Now that's off my chest can I please have my house back lovely husband? I love you very muchly but my preference is that the children and I do not live in a Chinese Wash House, despite how culturally appealing this sounds. 

I would like to be able to walk down the hallway without being suffocated by an overhead low hanging shirt. I would like to be able to watch television without having to complete an obstacle course with my own eyes. 

Also, I would like the bathroom towel rack back for the purpose of hanging towels and I would like very much to not have to inhale wash powder fumes with each breath. 

You are my love but I do not love your SWS. Just put your clothes in the {god damn} wash basket and I am a happy washer. 

Love Jo x

Please tell me I am not alone here. What's your husbands, boyfriends, lovers bad house habit? Do you or someone you know have SwS?